I realised that if you type my name in on google this is the first thing that comes up XD. Lol, this website has gotten me into alot of crap from people coming here and reading old journals and crap...Hmn. I don't use this site anymore really. My personality has changed, I'm matured and am therefore deeming the journal entries and poems relics of an older version of me or a younger me and therefore currently null and void.

If you want to find information on me try asking me or something or leave a comment saying i should get a website or something. Don't read crap that's on this website and think you know about me.

Thank you.

Aisha.

[insert name] you fuck-ER

*laughs hysterically*

There's a reason your name and fucker both have 6 letters you know.

I was so right, you really are a piece of shit. My featured piece? Oh yeah, you know it's all for you baby.

For everyone who didn't know, when I reach the brink of an emotion I begin to laugh hysterically, I actually suffer from real medical hysteria.

You WILL read this, I realised you read everything I have here...

I was your fool once again. Touche.

But I cannot condone you or the way you solve problems, all you have done were senseless acts of distruction. Really quite befitting of someone a stupid as you but for some reason, I expected better. I believed in you.

But I am the fool, your fool, or I was once, not anymore.

I am discarding you, I don't want or need you in my life.

Goodbye.

Part of me wants to hold onto this...And I'll always have your memory...But there's this other part of me...That thinks that this is just too little too late.

Xavier and I love this song

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My Girl's Ex-Boyfriend by Relient K

When he was seeing her
You could see he had his doubts
And now he's missing her
Because he knows he's missing out
Now it's haunting him
Her memory's like a ghost
He's so terrified
Cause no one else even comes close

He's a guy that you should feel sorry for
He had the world but he thought that he wanted more
I owe it all to the mistake that he made back then
I owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend

So then, along comes me,
This undeserving mess (undeserving mess)
Who would believe
My life would be so blessed (life would be so blessed)
Two years ago
He left all that debris (left all that debris)
Who would've known
He would leave everything I need

He's a guy that you should feel sorry for
He had the world but he thought that he wanted more
I owe it all to the mistake that he made back then
I owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend

If it wasn't for him
I would still be searching
If it wasn't for him
I wouldn't know my best friend
If it wasn't for him
He would be able to see
If it wasn't for him
He would be as happy as me

When she and I settle down you can bet
That he is going to have to settle for less
He's someone I would hate to be
I got the girl and he's left with just the memory.

He's a guy that you should feel sorry for
He had the world but he thought that he wanted more
I owe it all to the mistake that he made back then
I owe it all to my girl's ex-boyfriend

If it wasn't for him
I would still be searching
If it wasn't for him
I wouldn't know my best friend
If it wasn't for him
He would be able to see
If it wasn't for him
He would be as happy as me

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Oh yeah

The pain will become the proof of the bond between us.

"She's the flame and you're just paper. You're scared 'cause she's gotten closer. *Stole Everything your Heart Desired*"

Okay so I haven't updated my journal in a while, hope it didn't leave anyone thinking that any of that still matters to me. Okay so here's what's happened since..yeah I haven't posted journal in a while...Anywho...

Okay so the sunday after Tristan said he loved me...I promised I'd never say it and not mean it but the lonely feeling I got on the Saturday could have killed me...Nicky was there with her beau Adrian and I was there looking lovely and all alone..then my ex boyfriend who didn't want to break up in the first place came to her house...HOW.LAME. It totally darkened my mood...blah...oh well..after all the guy ogling me at the party we went to that ngiht I didn't feel so bad. So yeah I told him I loved him too and the Sunday after I dumped him, we got back together. Then the thursday of that week (It stretched into early Friday morning) he said that he didn't want "this" meanign our relationship, because it felt wrong because when I cussed him after I dumped him, it spelt out to him that I don't trust him, that I think he's lower than a dog and now that he knew I went out with another dude, he doesn't trust me. lol I think that's hilarious, anyway, he suggested a mutual breakup and being livid as I was; I explained to him that It was as good as done because of course I'd agree, I'd been trying to dump him for the past two weeks. I told him that I wished no further contact at all with him and wished to enver see him again and for finality, I said something I never say: Goodbye. Then i logged offline...

In the end I realised I don't love him but I do LIKE him atleast and he's a good person so I apologised for the harsh irrational things I said and made up and now we're friends...

Of course someone as proud as myself felt horrible after having to admit that I was wrong and needed or atleast wanted him as a friend...But I was redeemed as on that very same Friday, in the night, Xavier asked me to be his gf

LOL Can ANYONE imagine how smug I felt? Tristan introduced me to all his best friends so naturally by Saturday he knew...He admitted to still liking me and was admittedly stung by my getting another boyfriend not the day after but the same day!!! Anyway..Xavier and I went to go watch Pirates of the Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest on Wednesday.

In all honesty I saw most...well..alot...well..some..well..enough of the movie ...lol anyway I actually feel really good this week, proud that I threw Tristan's suggested mutual break up in his face, that I got another boyfriend so soon, proud that all the girls I go to school with who saw me at the movies couldn't stop drooling at Xavier and smiling at me, asking if he was my boyfriend. Well that's life for now..Mum hasn't been bitching lately...I got a tan...I've been eating like every two days lol yeah..so life's okay..well I'm gone now, I just realised i had left you hanging is all

So whether you cared/have nothing better to do/just love the soap opera life of mine/want to gossip about it (I'm not being coneited people actually do that ) yeah, thanks for reading!!!!

~Aisha~

Hello alls...i know my faithful viewers have been waiting to see who i'd chose and on this day the 29th of June 2006 I dumped Tristan and got the rass cussing of my life. I dumped him after his best friend and I talked it over and decided that I should because he's an asshole..also not only because I like xavier more but because Tristan is cold (like english people who dont kiss or hug their children) and he is way too busy for an attention loving gf like me in his life..he didnt say much when I called him and said it but I came online and he cussed me off here goes:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The convo:

"tris"(girls only) i cant think stright says:
oh and if i dont talk to u after today for a while its not becz i dont like u....cuz i dont not like u....its just ...u kno
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
yeah i know..you'll need a couple days for your ego to recover
"tris"(girls only) i cant think stright says:
excusse me
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
i'm joking!
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
okay
"tris"(girls only) i cant think stright says:
what ego
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
i know, i get it
"tris"(girls only) i cant think stright says:
u better
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
that's how i felt when jeremy dumped me..to this day i stil rarely see him because of it now..
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
i understand completely
"tris"(girls only) i cant think stright says:
i dont care about u and jermy god damit
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
i just explaining that i understand damnit
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
dont cuss wid me now cause ja know seh exam time and like how i already feel bad right now is so not the right tiem to screw wid me
"tris"(girls only) i cant think stright says:
but i told u to stop doin that
"tris"(girls only) i cant think stright says:
and if ne one is doin ne screwin its u!
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
wtf
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
come now man, what the fuck is that supposed to mean
"tris"(girls only) i cant think stright says:
who was it that told u those things?
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
i told you already that i wont fucking tell you and how di fuck you expect to be hostile to people and get information from them "if anyone is doing any screwing it's you"
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
FUCK YOU man i dont have no fuckin time for this and here you were thinking that you'd be the one not talking to me
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
jsut fuck off okay tristan
"tris"(girls only) i cant think stright says:
O.O
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
oh so now when you mus say summin after yuh mouth was just so full of words you have nuttin to seh
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
you are the biggest mystery i have ever encountered, how you gonna act nice one minute then be a complete asshole the next but whatever, i've learnt not to argue with idiots because they will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience
"tris"(girls only) i cant think stright says:
i wonder if it was amashika
BØ¥©®ÅZ¥ Ïmmðçülåtë Kïttén~And now the story's ended so where's my prince charming and happily ever after? Running late? *SORRY* says:
and i really am above this so fuck you and goodbye
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

And there ya have it..that screwin thing offended me because I know that he probably knows I've been cheating on him for the past two weeks..it struck a raw nerve..anyway..after that i blocked him and now...

his new screen name: damnit I fricken loved you, that's why i chose you, that's why i didnt want to let you go, that's why i didnt (hange) *typo on his part* to blinded by what you hear

and so goes the story..whoever reads all of this is really good..anywho..so xavier is coming over to my house on saturday..wonder what that'll be like..if tristan pisses me off enough i'll tell him i was cheating on him and really dumped him for the other guy..among other cruel things that my currently livid mind could come up with..

Thanks for reading...

Aisha